I took my title from a quote by Sophocles, the Greek philosopher. In my post “Only Cowards Choose Violence”, I wrote about the importance of love. I would like here to develop this concept further and give you suggestions on how you can be more loving to others. If only people would love each other, much of the unhappiness in this world would not materialize. If only parents would teach their children to love one another instead of instilling hate in them, the world would be a better place! If we are all a little more loving to each other, the world would be a much happier place.
Love is very important in our lives and being loving to everyone makes our lives richer, more interesting and more vital. When you love more, you attract more loving people and situations into your life. Many people prefer to stay by themselves and they avoid reaching out to others. We should, instead, do the opposite. We should love everyone with whom we come into contact, with our friends, our colleagues at work, our acquaintances, our neighbours and even with total strangers. So how can we be more loving? What can we do to reach out to others? What should we do so we can be loving? Here are some suggestions.
1. We should recognize that the goal of any loving relationship is to create an environment that will enable each person to be the best that they can be. In any loving relationship, people respect one another and they recognize and accept each other’s unique individuality. We have to learn to respect, trust and appreciate one another.
2. To be loving, you need to relax and control your anger. If you are tense and stressed you will react angrily and be frustrated as well. You are not able to speak nicely to others. Do not use words that will hurt others. This only generates resentment and does not develop a loving relationship. A loving person, will not manipulate and intimidate others.
3. Develop proper Communication skills. Be open and share with the others your expectations and your desires. You must communicate often with children. Otherwise children may interpret silence as neglect. Parents should also be honest and humble with their children. They should say, “I’m sorry” and admit when they have made a mistake and are wrong. When you are honest with others, you are showing respect for them. To develop a loving relationship with your children, let them know that they are important to you and that all you want is for them to be happy. Make your child feel special every day by doing little things like giving them a high-five, a hug or writing them a little note. Your child will feel loved and will be loving towards others.
4. It is necessary to know each other well and to make time for each other, if you wish to develop a loving relationship. When you are with each other, be it a spouse, a friend, a colleague or a family member, fill the time with excitement, fun and care. Relish the time that you spent with each other and bring joy and happiness to each other. Show that you care for the other person, that you have faith and hope for each other and that you are faithful to and thankful for each other. Show this in the things that you do for each other, your body language and in the words that you use. Hence, be conscious of your actions, words and non-verbal language.
5. Do something nice for others, do something which they like and appreciate. You could prepare soup, make a dessert and send it to your friends when they are ill or give them an unexpected gift. Helping others is a loving act and when we do this we feel good too. People who are loving avoid criticizing and talking ill about others. They do not make others feel that they are not worth being loved.
6. Develop a pleasant personality. Warm, loving people smile and laugh often. When you do so, other people believe that you are happy with them and that you want to make them happy too. People will then respond to you in a friendly and happy way too.
7. To be a loving person, be positive about life. Banish negative thoughts and look only for the positive in others. Practice patience with each other and be calm, strong and selfless. This will develop your loving image.
8. You must love yourself. Otherwise, it is difficult to love others. When you love yourself, you will reach out to others and influence them. You will love the world. To love yourself, you need to have confidence in yourself. You need to comfort and nurture yourself. Love your body, look after it and keep it in good health. Maintain good eating and exercising habits as they make you feel good about yourself.
9. To love yourself dismiss the negative, self-critical messages and thoughts you may have in your head. These messages and thoughts impact how we feel and think about ourselves. Do not be unfriendly to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Accept yourself the way you are. Tell yourself that you are a loving person. Each morning say to yourself, “I am kind and loveable”. Treat yourself with respect. Only then can you treat others with respect and love.
Love is calming and it removes negativity and self-hate. Accept everyone for whom and what they are and give unconditionally of yourself. When you love you glow with warmth. You are gracious and kind and you practice humility, honesty and righteousness. What a better world we would have if more people were loving to each other!
True. Also expressed in the words of a song: ‘What the world needs now, is love, …..”
And, in a letter, George Eliot (1819-1880) once wrote:
I like not only to be loved but also to be told I am loved. The realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave. This is the world of light and speech. And I shall take leave to tell you that you are very dear.